Open Letter.

This is just something I needed to get off my chest.

An open letter to Michael Sam:

Dear Michael Sam, 

First off, congratulations on your recent NFL draft. I wish you nothing but success in St Louis. 

And thank you, for unintentionally holding a gigantic mirror up to our society in the process. 

The way you have been treated by some in the industry suggests that the worst possible thing someone could be is gay. Threats of boycotts because you are a terrible role model for our children? Of course! However, let's open the door and make room for all those convicted felons and abusers. We should judge them on only their raw talent, of course. 

Having a gay man in the NFL is a huge affront to societies ideals of masculinity, ideals that are becoming a more and more obvious problem. Men are expected to be all sorts of macho, paragons of virility, and if you don't measure up there is something wrong with you. This past weekend's events in Isla Vista, California, reveal the terrible consequences of this distorted view of masculinity we are teaching our boys. 

A virgin at the age of 22? Shocking! Apparently, that is the worst thing that could happen to a person. (Second only to being a gay NFL player, I suppose.) 

When a man's worth as a human being is tied to his sexuality, then women become commodities rather than humans. Don't believe me? Read through some of the #YesAllWomen on Twitter. Or, ask your friends, sisters or wives about their experiences. Then again, maybe not. Most women are afraid of speaking out because of the culture of victim blaming that has sprung up around us.

(By the way, truly nice guys respect a woman's decision not to sleep with them. Sure, it might suck and he might be sad, but if his reaction is violence, he was not a nice person to start with. Pretending you are nice to get people to sleep with you is just vile.)

Whether or not the killings in Isla Vista were a mental health issue or the result of an extreme misogynistic world view, in some ways makes no difference. When the discussion is brought up that "not all men" think like that, it completely misses the mark that a large number of men do. In much the same way that people who "aren't homophobic", but don't think they should be concerned with helping gays seek equality, are missing the boat. If you are male, you enjoy a privilege because of that. Straight? Privileged. White? Privileged. Do something with that.

A large number of straight men, like Dallas sportscaster Dale Hansen, have spoken out in support of your coming out, rather than reflexively going the easy road of negativity. I only hope that men of a similar vein are willing to openly discuss consent and women's rights in the same way. 

Thanks for being such a positive role model.